How To Be A Parisian - Wherever You May Be
A New Book
How To Be Parisian Wherever You Are is published by Ebury
Key lessons include getting rid of those tired old UGG boots, relying on navy and finding a killer signature piece to wear every day.
What's more, this is no ordinary group of French friends. Caroline de Maigret is a former model and ambassador for Chanel, while Anne Berest is the author of two novels and a biography of Bonjour Tristesse writer, Françoise Sagan.
Completing the team are Audrey Diwan, a scriptwriter and editor-at-large of Stylist magazine, and film producer Sophie Mas.
Here, in an exclusive extract, they reveal the new rules of being Parisian - and insist that no matter what your style, nothing is as cool as cleverness.
- How To Be A Parisian Wherever You Are explains the rules of French life
- Includes tips on fashion, parenting and even how to have a lover
- Authors include a former model, a novelist, a film producer and a writer
More than staying slim, however, it's their chic sense of style and elegant insouciance that has the rest of the world gnashing its teeth in envy.
But gnash no longer for a group of achingly chic Parisiennes have unveiled a new book that explains exactly how style a' la Français is done.
WHAT YOU WON'T FIND IN HER CLOSET
- Three-inch heels. Why live life halfway?
- Logos: You are not a billboard
- Nylon, polyester, viscose and vinyl will make you sweaty, smelly and shiny
- Sweatpants. No man should ever see you in those. Except your gym teacher - and even then. Leggings are tolerated.
- Blingy jeans with embroidery and holes in them. They belong to Bollywood.
- UGG boots. Enough said.
- A skimpy top. Because you're not 15 anymore.
- A fake designer bag. Like fake breasts, you can't fix your insecurities through forgery.
Truth be told, if the Parisienne could just wear a Burberry trench and nothing underneath, she would be in heaven.
PARENTING LIKE A PARISIENNE
A Parisienne never hires a babysitter who is too pretty, always finding the less attractive one to be far more competent.
She often murmurs, with feigned discomfort, that she's a bit worried that her daughter is 'rather precocious'. It's her way of saying that her child is a genius - or that she takes after her mother.
She often pretends that her child is sick to get her out of dinner parties that will bore her to death. Then she feels guilty and worries that some god will actually make her baby ill to punish her for her lies.
She doesn't baulk at changing nappies but she never mentions the nasty details of stomach bugs or other ailments in public. Even at the paediatrician's, she is reluctant to pronounce those words out loud.
She doesn't automatically breast feed her children - only if she wants to. And anyone who tells her what she should and shouldn't do with her breasts had better beware. Particularly if he's a man...
She occasionally lets her children sleep in her bed, especially because all the parenting books ever written have forbidden it and she likes to stand out from the crowd...
She buys time with sweets so she can finish her phone conversation with her best friend,
She quite likes some of her children's friends, but others she thinks are real idiots. And she makes no particular effort to hide her opinion - being hypocritical would just be setting a bad example.
She can spend hours playing make-believe with her little ones. She'd be quite happy to live in one of their imaginary worlds forever, if only she didn't have to return to the adult life to earn a living.
FASHION: THE ESSENTIALS
Jeans, anytime, anywhere, and any way. Take a Parisienne's jeans out of her closet and she feels stark naked.
Men's shoes. Simply because everyone says these chic flat shoes aren't meant for women but you're a contrarian by nature. In fact, that's the very essence of your style.
The bag. It's not an accessory, it's your home. It's an indispensable shambles where you're just as likely to find a shrivelled up four-leaf clover as an old electricity bill. If it's beautiful on the outside, that's just to keep up appearances. And so that no one ever wonders what's inside.
The little black blazer. It smartens up a scruffy pair of jeans (the ones you wear all the time) and you wear it on days when you don't want to make it look too obvious that you don't feel like making an effort.
Ballet flats. Your equivalent of slippers. You don't choose between comfort and elegance; for you, it's all or nothing. Nobody ever saw Audrey Hepburn wearing carpet slippers.
A small silk scarf. It has more than one function. First, it adds a touch of colour to a dark outfit without running the risk of a fashion faux pas. Then, when it rains, you wear it over your head like Romy Schneider. And, on occasion, you can even use it to wipe your child's nose when you've run out of tissues.
Chic: Marion Cotillard shows how to wear navy while Vanessa Paradis makes the most of her little black blazer
The white shirt. It's iconic and timeless.
A long trench, of course, for warmer weather. You know it doesn't keep you as warm as a down jacket. But when you put on a down jacket, you feel like you're voluntarily adding extra love handles.
A thick scarf. Precisely because you don't own a parka. And despite pretending otherwise, sometimes you get cold.
The oversized sweater that slips off your shoulder. You wear it the day after a party, as if you'd snuggled up in a quilt. It's as soft as a teddy bear, as calming as Xanax, as wide as a screen, perfect for days when you feel your hips too much.
Basic oversized sunglasses. Every day, even when it's raining, because you always have a reason to wear them: too bright out, a hangover, tears running down your face, a desire to be mysterious...
An oversized shirt. You always undo one extra button so it doesn't look too serious. In general, you borrow your boyfriend's. You'll never return it and you may even one day wear it in somebody else's arms. Love can fade, but some fashion lasts forever.
The very simple, but very expensive T-shirt. This contradiction guides your life like Liberty Leading the People: you're perfectly happy to give into the most common trends, as long as you can add a mark of luxury. As a result, you spend hours searching for the perfect T-shirt, whose finely woven and slightly transparent thread make it feel like cashmere.
THE ABC'S OF CHEATING
Rule number one: DENY, DENY, DENY.
Don't feel guilty: This is about you, not against him.
What's good for you is good for your relationship: Basically, you're being a thoughtful girlfriend.
Your lover should not be part of your circle of friends: it's OK to cheat on your boyfriend, it's not OK to humiliate him. His honour matters just as much as your personal fulfillment.
Save your lover's number under 'Private Number'.
Better yet, save it under your best friend's name ('She's so needy...)
There's no such thing as a secret that stays a secret. The truth always comes out. Refer back to rule number one.
Protect yourself - against disease and love itself (which can also make you very sick).
Never complain to your lover about your boyfriend. Who wants to fool around with a woman who's dating a loser?
Keep things straight: don't treat your lover like a boyfriend.
Shake it up and spread the love: cheat on your lover with your boyfriend.
Extracted from How To Be Parisian Wherever You Are by Caroline de Maigret, Anne Berest, Audrey Diwan and Sophie Mas (£16.99, Ebury)
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